Stuck

Blog post #2 for the night...
Maybe it's against blogging rules, i dont know...but, i have a lot on my mind : )
So, I am blessed. I have soo very much to be thankful for...all of the people who love me, and opportunities I have to make something of myself, all of the possessions I have, and most of all a Savior who loves me more than words could describe.
All this, and I somehow still find a way to feel sorry for myself sometimes.
I have told myself many a time that I will have no part of self pity because I have no reason for it...but, last night was meltdown time. I think it's just been part of the whole "recovery" process...having the breakdowns space out a lot more, which they have. But, it always leaves an impact on me afterward.
Anyway, it was one of those middle of the night things--when you're like OMG! I have no one to talk to! And of course, God is always there, but I felt like he was on break or something. And there are many people who would make me feel bad about thinking these things, much less putting them into writing. But, these people don't know what it's like. They've never been put in quite the position that I have. Of course, everyone has their own trials, most worse than mine, but still, different. It's only human to wonder what's going on and what's going to happen... and sometimes feel like nothing is happening at all, your just...stuck...I'm not justifying wallowing in your sorrows...not by any means is that okay. But, this is human, and until someone has walked in your shoes they have no right to criticize the way you handle things.
I pray that God will un-stickme...He does have a knack for that sort of thing after all. : )
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified
because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you."
[Deuteronomy 31:5, 6]

"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast."
[Psalm 139]
...And when you feel like no one is there holding your hand, and helping you along...

"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory."
[Psalm 73:23, 24]