I call you Jesus, You're every answer...

I will be the who worships, all of my attention
I wanna be the one Your looking for
Are you looking for someone to love You
Know my heart is with You
I wanna be the one Your looking for


Cause when were finally face to face
All I want to hear You say
Is Ive been the one Your looking for


Cause I call You Jesus, Your every answer
Theres no confusion about Who You are to me
And ill lift my hands to tell what my heart says
A love that goes deeper, not a word can explain

link to "I Call You Jesus--Frontline Worship: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhBQYGrTQ4Y

New favorite song. I walk around all day singing it. Such a worshipful song...

Anyway, This is gonna pretty much be the most random blog ever.
I feel like so many people around me are growing in Christ, including myself, it's unbelievable. It's awesome to see new Christians growing and more experienced Christians getting closer to God. I'd have to say this has been the worst, best, craziest year (or school year, rather) of my entire life, not that my life has been super long or anything, but you know what I mean.
I feel like I've lost a lot of people over this year (just know when i say year i mean school year specifically). I feel like I've gained a lot of people too...if certain things hadn't happened, i wouldn't have met certain people, and i wouldn't have done certain things.
Everything was planned out to reach a certain purpose...the bad was made into good.
Of course the affects of the bad still linger, i still think about it, and it still hurts...but, everything good that came out of it made it worth it.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." [Romans 8:28]



[pictures from our most recent adventure!]

My most recent revelation has been about my singing. I love to sing, I always have. End of story. Thing is, I don't like to sing for things that aren't for the Lord on any stage. When it's for Jesus, I know if I mess up, it doesn't matter because I'm not singing for the people watching anyway. I can just focus on worshiping and helping others to worship along with you.
That's one of the best feelings ever is when you know you've impacted someone during the music part of worship, to look out and see the hands raised, or the tears, or the joy on someone's face. To walk off the stage and know that I just helped lead that...
Brooks (our pianist on Sundays and the youth band leader--and my bestfriend!)has been my mentor in this area, and other areas as well whether he realizes it or not. He is constantly reminding us to worship when we sing, and to be bold, and it's all for the Lord...not for us, or anyone else. This has pushed me out of my comfort zone over the last year, and I'm glad. His worship is as real as I've ever seen. When he and i and Hannah Grace sing together I can't help but worship because the atmosphere is just so genuine. That's what I believe it is to lead worship--to be so wrapped up in the Lord yourself, that others can't help but want to be the same way and take their own step of boldness and follow your lead.
Im realizing now more than ever, especially since our church and our youth are going out to other places to do the music, that singing isn't a just a talent...it's a calling.
Also, mine and Lindsey's most recent endeavor...cheerleading.
I'm not a cheerleader, end of story.
But, this is becoming more than just a "cheering" thing.
Idk what it is...but, it's different. It's a step out of my comfort zone...
I'm going to have to trust God with this whether I make it or not, and just know I did my best. Some people might say I'm being ridiculously too serious about this whole thing, but like I said, it's more than just about "cheerleading" for me at this point.
But, I think one of the best things about trying to achieve this so far is the new people that I'm getting closer to.
One of them, namely, is Brenna! Sweetest girl i've ever met...she has been willing to bend over backwards (sometimes literally!) to help us. If I make the team, I owe everything to her!
I truly feel like God has put her in mine (and Lindsey's) life for a reason she is honestly one of the most genuine people...i dont know, we have all just kind of clicked, and I think if we all(we all meaning lindsey, shelby, and I since brenna def will!) end up making it (or even if we don't) there will be a great friendship ahead! : )

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." [Philippians 4:13]

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." [Philippians 4:6]

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." [Psalm 37:4]

I don't want to be on any spiritual highs or lows...I want to be in love with Him the same every day, all day because He never changes. I want to keep the passion for Him and praise Him even when He seems to be silent...I want those around me to see something different in me. I want to be surrounded by those who love Him as much as I do for support.
I want to take Him seriously, so that He will take me seriously too...and i want to be a serious threat to the devil.
lovvvee muchhh : )

Signs and Wonders

I think that a lot of people don't understand Christians because of the way that they live for a God whom you can't see, or hear, or seemingly have any communication with. The idea just seems unrealistic to a skeptic like some...but, what they don't realize is that our God is more real than anything they have experienced, with the power to communicate, change minds, hearts, and lives.
This post was inspired by reading Lindsey's most recent one. I had been wanting to write it, but wasn't sure when to kind of randomly throw it in, but I am now.
I am definitely guilty of the frequent prayer to have God do something, or show me something, or just straight up audibly say something...which i wouldn't put past Him either...anyway, I feel like that isn't really the right way to handle things. I feel like i should trust Him enough to know that when something is supposed to happen it will, or if I'm supposed to do something I will just know. But, sometimes you just doubt, even some of the greatest people in the Bible did the same. I always think of Gideon when I start to ask for things like signs. I only could remember the gist of the story, so I looked it up [Judges 6]...and sometimes I think we are more like Gideon than we even realize.
Israel was at war with the Midianites. An angel of the Lord came to Gideon and told him stuff like, "the Lord is with you mighty warrior," "I will be with you, and you will strike down the Midianites all together"...now, I'm just gonna go ahead and say if an angel came to me and was telling me all this stuff, I'm pretty sure I'd be convinced at that point, but Gideon just wanted to make sure...he said "If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. Please to not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you." The Lord said, "I will wait until you return."
Long story short, the angel proved himself to be that of the Lord. and ya.
But, Gideon just wanted to be sure that what God was telling him to do was exactly right.
"If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised--look, I will place a wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know you will save Israel by my hand as you said."
Well, God didn't stutter, He knew what He said and meant it. The next day the wool had enough dew on it to wring it out and have a bowl of it. Then he said, "God, don't be angry with me, let me make one more request..." He asked God to do just the opposite as the day before, make the ground wet and the wool stays dry, and it was done. I would be kinda irritated with Gideon if I were, God...but, im not...and this is very good. But, id also have to be irritated with myself because I make similar requests sometimes. Not having to do with fleece or anything because that's a little strange, but with just signs in general.
Quick story and I'm done:
In about 7th grade I was in some drama with some people and just a lot was going on and it was a tough time for me. It was a pretty dumb thing. We had a singing group that would sing in chapel every Wed morning, and I had one of the mics during that time and those of us that had the mics were referred to as "the front line." Well, the lady in charge pulled me aside and said, until you get everything straightened out with all the drama and stuff I'm pulling you off of the front line. Lauren, you have a great voice, and I need you back on the front line. I really need you there. Well, that coming Sunday, there was a prophesying deal, not sure exactly how to phrase it. But they said, "...God needs you back on the front line of battle." [quick explanation: prophesy is just God speaking through someone to the church directly. I'm usually not too much in the middle of that stuff at church, I'm just pretty chill in that area, because that's just kind of how I was brought up, but that's what God chose to use to get to me.] Whether you believe in prophesying or not, every denomination, church, and person has their own beliefs on that controversial topic, and the very last thing I want to do is offend, but this happened, straight up, and it was directly to me in those exact words. God doesn't care where you are, He will get in contact with you and wake you up however he needs to at the time.
More recently, I was at Grandma's, and this was in the middle of a bad time, and I was looking through some book she had. I Opened up to a chapter and read, "Hang in there soldier." The last few words in that chapter. Like straight up. I felt like crying the whole thing was just so real. God was referring back to the front line/soldier analogy from a few years ago til now, knowing that it made a huge impact on me, and I would remember exactly what He was talking about. Some may be skeptical of the whole experience, but it happened...sometimes i dont like to tell that story, and ive only told it to a few people, but it's just part of a testimony and happened to fit right into this. It was real. Just like our God is real. Don't ever doubt his ability to get you on the line, or to show you exactly the kind of sign you're asking for because He will prove you wrong. You are his child, and what kind of parent would completely ignore their child in his/her time of great need? How much more does our heavenly Father love us than our earthly father? He is there always!
lovvvee much : )

half and half?

So, tonight was great...the church went to this other church in Augusta to do the music for a youth thing. So, me, brooks, hannah, hannah grace, trey, jake, alan, and gerry definitely killed it. It was awesome. The church was in a pretty bad area, so a lot of witnessing was done. They had no AC and it was like a gym type of setting. :/ that was kind of a nightmare...but i guess it wasn't so bad. They kept the doors to the place open so you could hear the music echoing down the street. pretty awesome. I'm glad we got to be a witness to a lot of people tonight and thankful for the lives that were saved, and that my voice didn't give out! : )
But, on the other hand, we had to meet at the church at 5. At Lindseys, me, brenna, shelby, camilla, jessica, allison, and lindsey got together to practice cheerleading. It was actually pretty frustating for me, especially since I only got to stay for like 45 mins before I had to run down to my church to meet everybody. It's the MOST aggravating thing ever when everybody gets the hang of something and you're left baffled. pretty annoying stuff. and now I'm extremely far behind because they got to stay for hours after I left to practice. Now what?
I have been praying for this cheering thing to work out for me. It's just a goal of mine, kinda like the pageant, or anything else...well things aren't looking too hot right now. But, I still have a good bit of time left for practicing. I'm praying that next time, God will help me to catch on a little faster since I sacrificed a lot of practice time...but, witnessing comes before all that other stuff.
So, just praying for that, and my other frustrations to fall into place! : )

so, i wrote this about 3 months ago and it was actually on my facebook...but i felt like it was worth posting again even though i've come such a long way, it still fully applies...especially since i know people who are currently going through the same exact thing that i just got out of. i tried to think of something i could say to them to help, but then i remembered when it was me, nothing anyone said really helped very much. so, i guess the best thing is just to tell what i learned when i was in that position... hang in there : )



wow. what a lesson God is teaching me right now...
to let him take what he needs to, to make me a better person...
The theme song of my life right now seems to be "Bless the Lord"--Laura Story
about how God gives and takes away for our benefit. bc who am i to say what things i need in my life?
Sometimes we may go through something that seems like it's the worst thing that could happen at the time, just to find out how strong we are and that we can actually make it through...contrary to what we may think and say at the time
i truly believe God will never give us more than we can bear. Even when it feels like during the day you're walking around with such a weight on your shoulders, or it may even be so heavy that you dont feel like you can make it out of bed.
but, no matter how many meltdowns we have...God is still helping us through it even when it feels like nothing is changing. He bottles our tears.
...maybe we're having to learn to set our priorities straight. Nothing should be before God. Sometimes we have to be put at our lowest to come back to God on our knees...once we get back to that place, things may get worse before they get better. but, they will get better.
No one should have your whole heart except Jesus because he will never let you down...he will never make you go to that place that hurts the most...guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.
but, the best part about all these lessons is that im not writing this about how its super fun or anything to have to learn them because its not...im not on any sort of high from it. but, im also being taught to praise him in every circumstance you have to go through. even though its hard, and ill be the first to say i have had one of the worst attitudes about it, at times...and probably still will sometimes...but, im learning. plus, having a terrible attitude about it only makes you more miserable.
it helps me to think of one day at a time. today has enough troubles of its own to start to worry about tomorrow!
thank you God, for teaching me all of this...helping me to gain a little more wisdom and understanding, and making me stronger...even though i have a lonnngg way to go. help me to help others with what ive learned so far...thank you for keeping everything under control even when i feel like its a downward spiral!
God told me to hang in there. so, i intend on doing just that. He is going to help you do the same, always. : )

Charles Stanley...haha

So, on the way home awhile ago dad turned the radio on some channel that Charles Stanley was preaching...and i was like okkk...
But, when we got home I actually went to my room and turned it on too...it was a good sermon that a lot of people, including myself needed to hear--about peace.
You hear all the time to trust in God and that will give you peace--"well ive tried that"--when you truly understand the deep meaning of a personal relationship with Jesus, that is when you understand how trusting him gives you peace. When you pray for something, you have to have faith that, and claim that it WILL be done. Otherwise, it's not any good.
To me, peace and faith are directly tied together. If you don't claim it and believe that it is yours satan will still have you hung up on the depression, the oppression, the fear, the anxiety. But when you believe that you have been given a spirit of POWER. It is yours.
That may not seem logical, how just believing that peace is yours will work, or give you power to rise above your situtaion but Paul said God's peace surpasses ALL understanding. It's not going to make sense to us how God is able to do what He does for us. But, that's okay. That's why He's God, and we are not.
In Greek, peace means "tied together; one" God the Father, the son, and the Holy Spirit are tied together to make one. When we are tied together with Him, the result is peace. In order to have peace, you must have Jesus. : )

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of self-control." [Timothy 1:7]

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." [Philippians 1:7]

"I know the Peacespeaker, I know Him by my name
I know the Peacespeaker, He controls the winds and
waves
When He says "peace, be still", they have in obey
I'm glad I know the Peacespeaker, yes I know Him by
name"

Best Friends.

So, there are always those several people in your life that know most everything about you. They know exactly how to push your buttons, but then they know exactly how to fix it afterwards. There are so many different friends I've made from all over. Some just kind of fade out...even though I never really forget them completely or the impact they had on my life.
But, then there are those who have been steady friends for a good part of my life, who I can't help but remember. I appreciate these people to no end. I truly know that I will love these several people for like ever because even though we may have been rude toward each other in the past, or what we've been through together, it always comes down to the fact that we love each other and will still be friends no matter what. I know i say it pretty frequently, but i should still say it more often...not that I don't love everybody else in my life too... I just want to thank this handful of people, from my family to my very closest friends, for everything they've added to me as a person. Unlike some of the people who kind of just whisk in and out, the solid friends leave such an impact on your life. Even though I realize those who just stop for a little while serve a purpose too.

To: My 2 bestest friends--Most people have those types of friends in their lives--that God puts there as a support system. I have probably two main people who know me inside and out. These two are my support. God definitely knew that they would be the ones for me-- who would stay up with me as late as i needed to talk about something that is bothering me. Who we've been through so so much ive decided that absolutely nothing can change our relationship. When I hurt y'all, it hurts me even more...yall mean the world to me...not trying to be super sentimental, but just trying to show the depth that i love these people to. I'm sure they know who they are and I just want y'all to know how much I lovvvee you both, and am praying for you always. I'm always proud of yall and you are always in my thoughts. no matter what may come to separate us, i just won't have it because im pretty sure yall are stuck with me forever, like it or not : )

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up! [Ecc 4: 9&10]


My connection with people has become so very important to me. It just amazes me how God has it all planned out-- who we will come in contact with, and when, based on what we should learn from each other at the time. So awesome!...and i value those people so much, and God meant for me to value and protect my relationship with whoever it may be because every one of them is special in whatever way.
And maybe I over analyze these things a lot of times...but, it's just some people just can't ever be replaced. So I said all this to say how much I love in a special way, those who have made a difference to me, or those who I have been able to make a difference to, and even how I love those I haven't had the opportunity to get as close to just yet. I am thankful to no end, and would bend over backward to help any number of y'all out. Even when it seems like we aren't on speaking terms or something becomes a barrier in our relationship you aren't any less important to me. And God will definitely bless all of y'all...praying for you always...so glad you are a part of me!
love my *bffs* to death : )

"Forsake not an old friend, for the new is not comparable unto him. A new friend is as new wine: when it is old thou shalt drink it with pleasure."

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." [Proverbs 17:17]