Enjoy the Scenery

A wonderful snow day in AIKEN.
Who woulda thunk it?
Who would have imagined all the memories it would bring back either...
Sometimes life just starts to move so quickly. You let things pass you by. You do and say things you will regret. You miss some of the most important details that happen. Just the little things that made you smile.
New lesson: don't forget about those things. Dont forget to remember the details. The things that happened that warmed your heart the most. Pay attention to the people that surround you because there's no guarantee they will be there forever. Absorb every detail on a day you've been waiting for, or a day that you didn't know you would have been waiting for.
Yes, i do look back at things, one thing in particular, and think, wow...i would do things soo much differently now. I can't believe i let that happen...
Everything happens for a reason. God, I truly dont understand your ways--what you are doing in my life, but i trust that it is in the best possible hands it could ever be in. I truly am flying by the seat of my pants, and trying to roll with the punches...but, that isn't me. I like to know what's gonna go on and when. I like schedule.
I am unaware of the itinerary that God has planned for me. But, i sure enough can't wait to see!
Are humans meant to live in the past, present, or future?
Present--of course. But, how hard is that? I spend most of my time in the past, or planning for the future. I can't forget about the day that the Lord has made for me today because one day I will look back and miss being here.
I pray that if God wants me to re-live part of the past by putting something back into my life that it will happen.
But, also, I pray that if it is time for other things...I can let go of everything I miss dearly, and look toward the future.

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let is rejoice and be glad in it." [Psalm 118:24]

While MONTE is away!

Ohh guitar class!
These wonderful people brighten my day every 5th period : )
We have our dull days...and crazy days like today...
If only Monte Wiley Blackwell could have seen us.
From fake write ups, to cones as hats, to playing made up songs and dancing around the room.
It never seems to get old.
So, here's to my bffs in guitar class! Love yall : )

Confuseddd?

"Give me a revelation, show me what to do, cause I've been trying to find my way, and I haven't got a clue. Tell me should I stay here, or do I need to move? Give me a revelation, I've got nothing without YOU."
Sometimes things just seem out of control...this isn't one of those times for me, really. Although, somthing happened the past two nights that has caused me a lot of confusion. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was happy with that decision, and then something else got thrown in the mix to make things more complicated...hmm. So, I basically have two things to choose from, one that I could emotionally make a decision on, or one that would be the smarter decision. Of course, the smart decision would be the logical choice, but what if thats not what God wants for me. I always end up coming back to the emotional option...and the emotional option seems to come back to me.
Oh boy! can't wait to see how God wants to handle this one...
whatever happens, it is in His hands! : )

Can't nobody do me like Jesus, can't nobody do me like the Lord, can't nobody do me like Jesus...He's my friend!

Give it ALL up

New lesson from God: Give everything to him. Let him have complete control of my life.
I have recently been pulling in all different directions trying to figure out what i need to do. What moves I need to take next...and trying to tell God what doors I think He needs to open...then, i stopped and thought, God doesn't need guidance from me one what to do in my life! I just need to sit back and let Him do His thing!
So, I said "ok God, I've been trying to control things and fix things, and start new things on my own, and it's all fallen apart...I want YOU to have full control. Whatever happens, let it be YOUR will, not mine."
And guess what, He is working it all out! The power of prayer never ceases to amaze me!
It feels soo much better to just give it all up to God. Not to worry--increases joy!
He knows so much better than we do what should be done in our lives.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." [Phil. 4:6]

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." [Jeremiah 29:11]

"You give and take away for my good, for who am i to say what I need, for You alone see the hidden parts of me that need to be stripped away, and as you begin to refine, I'm learning to let go, to rely, on the One who walks with me, as hard as it may be, you're teaching me all the while to say, Bless the Lord!"

Im Alive!

"Loudly I'll sing, loudly I'll live, giving you all I have to give, until the world knows the love that's made me so alive, I'm alive, I'm alive!"
How thankful I am to be alive!...and to have the ability to live "loudly" for Jesus! Ever since coming to South Aiken High from South Aiken Christian, and over the years of watching people make the transition between the two schools, I've seen so many good kids start getting into a lot of junk. Bad mouths, partying, drugs...etc. It's actually really sad to see. Kids who could make something great out of themselves and be such a good influence fall into that trap of the world...it's almost like giving in on their part until they decide to get back to Jesus.
Well, I'm so glad that God has given me this desire to be unswayed by the world, and to want to stay strong and resist all the temptations of high school.

"But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven."[Matt. 10:33]

I pray that I never hide my light and deny Jesus who died for me just because I am so concerned about what my peers may think of me. I plan on having God tell me "well done thou good and faithful servant" when I get to heaven. definitely!

"Do not envy wicked men, do not desire their company;" [Proverbs 24:1]

I don't even want to be involved in the junk of the world because they are the ones that are truly missing out on the relationship with the one who made them...

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." [Romans 12:2]

I am up to that challenge! : )

Stuck

Blog post #2 for the night...
Maybe it's against blogging rules, i dont know...but, i have a lot on my mind : )
So, I am blessed. I have soo very much to be thankful for...all of the people who love me, and opportunities I have to make something of myself, all of the possessions I have, and most of all a Savior who loves me more than words could describe.
All this, and I somehow still find a way to feel sorry for myself sometimes.
I have told myself many a time that I will have no part of self pity because I have no reason for it...but, last night was meltdown time. I think it's just been part of the whole "recovery" process...having the breakdowns space out a lot more, which they have. But, it always leaves an impact on me afterward.
Anyway, it was one of those middle of the night things--when you're like OMG! I have no one to talk to! And of course, God is always there, but I felt like he was on break or something. And there are many people who would make me feel bad about thinking these things, much less putting them into writing. But, these people don't know what it's like. They've never been put in quite the position that I have. Of course, everyone has their own trials, most worse than mine, but still, different. It's only human to wonder what's going on and what's going to happen... and sometimes feel like nothing is happening at all, your just...stuck...I'm not justifying wallowing in your sorrows...not by any means is that okay. But, this is human, and until someone has walked in your shoes they have no right to criticize the way you handle things.
I pray that God will un-stickme...He does have a knack for that sort of thing after all. : )
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified
because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you."
[Deuteronomy 31:5, 6]

"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast."
[Psalm 139]
...And when you feel like no one is there holding your hand, and helping you along...

"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory."
[Psalm 73:23, 24]

The Presence

So, for some reason I don't quite understand a lot of the things that have been going on lately with church and home etc...or maybe I don't agree with, rather.
The presence of God has been very strong lately...or at least that's what everyone says. I'm going to be very honest here for a minute--I don't think the Holy Spirit is the strongest when you are in the four walls of a church. I think it is at it's peak when you are at school, work, home, wherever, and you call on the name of the Lord. The spirit in you is strongest when you are supposed to be witnessing everyday to those who watch you live your life and being a light to those around you, or in the middle of the night when you have no one else to call on. I think that's when the Holy Spirit has the most impact on you and those around you. When you are alone, and your true colors show. Not saying it isn't when you are at church. That's a totally different experience...worshiping with your brothers and sisters in Christ and the Holy Spirit is present...but, not everyone is genuine in that setting.
Well, actually, I think the Holy Spirit is always present. The moment you get saved He enters into your heart, and doesn't leave.
And another thing, I don't believe that you always have to have something to say. That's something I have been told my whole life. Lauren, just learn when to be quiet, and I have...for the most part. That's something that everyone should learn. Some people i feel like say things sometimes just to let the people around them thin that they are some great scholar or something. I mean, even Jesus didn't do that, even though he was all knowing. "It's better to have people think you are a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should always be careful what we say because we will be held accountable for everything we let fly out of our mouths.